Not What I Thought it'd be

it's not I thought it'd be these problems I didn't for see see I could only ever be me even tho the world tried to show me blow me, I could turn into the old me best u in a second like dummy but ultimately I'm only fighting with me yes the real me, the one you don't see the genuine one unphony who's looking out for the family and the homies. some times I feel a real disconnect of that version of myself and the one I project it's probably cuz of all the things I don't expect people can say things to get to ur head and I know I have walls and usually protect. myself from criticism that I'm not ready to except maybe I don't deserve maybe I do I digress chill I'm not tryna change the subject but maybe we should all explore that concept maybe life ain't what we've been taught to except. if ur a decent person, why u gotta tell em what to do next anyways, these days, just ain't, all pain, I been, speaking out sounding insane, blowing up in rants laced with profain, im nnot isane, i promise i just hate this game, we need to rip this page crumple it uo toss it to the trashcan, i try again, too many people living in pain, drenched in shame, you feel what im sayin? ya you feel what Im saying? ain't tryna trick ya no David blame, ain't tryna take it money and say try again, well shit what the fuck am I saying, lay on the pavement and gimme everything, cuz this gunll bang, and daddy need a new paire shoes n a limosene, clonopin perks and some ketamine, promethazine sprite mixed with codene, jolly ranchers to spice it up i just throwum in