This is the third version There is two other versions that I wasn’t satisfied with the first one had a different beat and it was recorded on BandLab. The second version was recorded on an app called Rapchat but I didn’t like vocals about it mostly because I didn’t think I had a lot of energy in that version. This is the final version I recorded, I recorded it on a app called Rapchat The verse was written December 10 2023 , I don’t remember writing it because my memory trash . But I’m kinda just talking about my life and certain things about it Here’s the lyrics I’m mixed with white black and Puerto Rican As a kid I was in a black church listening to the pastor speaking Me and my brother was the only ones that color See and I nor my brother never had to suffer Never was treated different from others That’s Christian love I got those Christian morals from the Christian hug See I was raised by my grandparents and I was different A quiet adhd little boy me not feeling Normal was efficient I had a para and took test different man I felt translucent I felt vulnerable like each day I was a room with lions Depression came me stressing again I ain’t lying Also internally, I hated being introverted It was hurting me I wanted to yell something blurted Mind working me I’m paranoid sight blurry Better hurry I worry too much About such and such I had enough then stuff would fuck me up Suicide thoughts I had kept in my pocket I decide I never let it out so it goes up like rocket Destroying me slowly then it hits me in my socket Knowingly I drop it pick it up and contemplate Constant hate on self without hate Didn’t do it but I tried my knife was dull At night i look like a fool I failed at suicide I’m blue inside Holding all my sins inside like I’m crucified