I know I lost myself and ego and respect for every one who cut for me. shit if only if every one new what the fuck I was dealing with inside my self. it wasn't great. I had to fucking pretend like I was alright but I wasn't.. but I went with the flow so. no one wouldn't ask me 20.fuckin question. it's no excuse... I lost myself along time ago... when I lost a part of me in 2003 .... I don't have to explain.... no one. only the most high.. is who I need to explain all my feelings and pour my every single problem and. my burdens.. and all my worries. my. troubles.. I am very angry and.. still trying to break free and my chains⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️ from my own prison. I am... a inmate for many years... I don't realize how I treat people close to me when I am dealing with a lotta anger issues. I some times don't feel.. anything in my self.. . I no I was told I was selfish and only cared about my self and don't consider other people feelings. or I was so hateful and rude as fuck. I damage I am from people in my past I no I need to let it go and let it die.. but I different type of person that cant see myself change it because it hurts too much and I'm afraid. to be crossed or even been to life is a struggle and.peace doesn't exist no more.. . so I stay too my self.. but people get mad ... because I choose too stay too my self . communicating.of being.. I need to and socializing... I been threw some really .. situations that I can't believe why I'm still here alive but I guess he was God's purpose to bring me back and take care of I'm finished business in this world I see it by and he brought me back to tell my testimony about my whole life and how I survived through it all even when I lost my baby boy I take it really hard I didn't want to live but God gave me a reason to be on the squirrel to help those others f****** this world and through the darkness Are Young it's trapped in the ways Walking In the Valley of Death trying to take yourself out because it's suicidal and drug and all kinds of s*** and I have to figure one to seven free before I can go home and meet with my son and my most high so I got to go and you guys plan and do it right just like he wants me to I got to fulfill that opportunity that God's got me going to do I got to speak out and let him know that there is a man upstairs his name is Jesus Christ and he loves you you die with you and me I got to speak out I got to do my job as a soldier but lately I have slipped off and I'm fighting everything around me I feel like I got chains that I can't break free Lord help me to break free from all his name is that God be surrounded and trapped with all these chains help me to break free so I can be real and do what I was told to do manage my own my mission my purpose before I can go home roam loam phloem