having flashbacks of the pen Man, it is what is, this is just the life I live Doctors said if I don't change, I won't live to see 35 I just keep on smokin like, fuck it, I'm prepared to die Say a prayer cause lord if your there You gotta send me a sign to show me that you really care I wake up every day I hit my knees and pray My mind is filled with pain So many things have changed I'm looking at my life, like it's an hour glass But I still spend every minute trying to catch the past I got some people in the pen that I don't write like I should Hell it's been six months since I stopped by the hood Best friend in the trap wishin I could get him out But I can't help him if I can't help my damn self Got me drinkin every night, it's turned into a ritual But then I go to church, man I feel so hypocritical Lord I'm an individual forgive me I'm just flesh Plus I don't know what to do to put up with this stress It takes everything inside of me To be the best father I can be But y'all don't understand the irony The hatred that's inside of me Last of a dyin breed Wake up everyday and try and make it out properly From the start, I knew that I'd just tryin to play my part Every girl I ever loved ended up breaking my heart Momma keep on callin me sayin that she need money And the part that hurts me is I cannot give her any I ain't got it to give her man I'm just tryin to make it but Since they think I got it, so many people hatin man I go to sleep late at night and I be shakin cause Cause my nightmares have me layin down bleedin on the pavement Folks I don't even know sayin that I owe em somethin Call my phone everyday like Jelly can I hold somethin You ain't my gansta, you ain't there when I was starvin I would of killed myself if it wasn't for my daughter