I ask myself was I strong today was I wrong in any way If I need to change that’s ok So Why the fuck am I still going astray? At least I have an ashtray But where is my lighter? I have cigarettes but no fire My situation seems dire Nicotine is my immediate desire Zone out of this fucking mire But it’s Clarity I require! So where the fuck is my lighter? The light that lights my fire The fire that blows thru Affecting me Erasing u Inhale air stale Counting the ways I fail Exponentially with each breath I take Trying to cover my shakes And now I just sit in silence Battling mental violence Screaming in my head Can’t get out of bed Seeing 50 shades of red Angry I’m not dead I can’t light my cigeratte and hate this lighters defiance It’s lack of compliance I need that Light that lights my fire The fire that blows thru Affecting me Rejecting u Inhale air stale Count the ways I fail If there was a bic in sight I might… Buy three, five, ten just to lose the mother fucker & find it again But never when I need it Watch history repeat it Gone in a never never land of Lost boys, lost souls, lost toys, lost lighters The secret place inside dryers Where only one sock is the survivor Maybe that’s what stole my lighter?! Chorus I ask myself was I strong today Was I wrong in a way Did I go astray? At least I have a ashtray But why can’t ever find my lighter? Cigarettes but no fire My situation seems dire It’s clarity I require!!! But for now nicotine is my desire To remove me from this mire So where the fuck is my lighter?? What is ur DOC Is it filled with Constant unpredictability Crushing Productivity decreasing my peace breeding creativity Feeding on negativity Repeling Positivity Finding Sanity is the Least priority No release Must cope to handle this beast So… Where the fuck are my cigarettes? Must smoke Because I’m the butt of life’s joke My Mind must cease Or my abstinence will decrease Seizures institutionalize me. I’m a freak! This creature that I have become Gives the middle finger to everyone Gestures linger I Wager that bet So I can fill my lungs with Regret Pay for the disaster of my choices Listening to vent voices Believe I’m free and have clarity But the devil has his tail around my neck Strangling me Strangling me Cutting off my scream So I can’t shout Silence is deaf Hold my last breath Mute to this song Whose notes r flat and all wrong Chorus Register the liquidation of my Motivation To move on Cash out Or hold ‘‘em strong Poker bet Is life short or too long? Forward thinking Past dreaming Nonexistent while drinking So did someone steal my lighter? Cold soul needs a new fire Familiar with ghosts My body is the host Possessions regressions For legions of dark My lighter would be…a spark Or burn the house down with Maker Meters Mark Tails and tongues forked Because nothing is corked The past less taken Unconsciousness Subconscious mess I need guidance And purpose To reach higher not to ba a down south fighter To understand not reprimand Lindsay is her name Her addiction Is my prediction of how the day goes And so it grows Because at the end It doesn’t matter whose to blame Was it booze or cocaine Either /or lives in shame But not important because when ur in the dirt… 6 feet under Potential dried up well My personal hell And it’s done He is it is all the fucking same When ur in the dirt it’s all the same