S1J17 /Troubled Times/

S1J17, Troubled Times, its called ,we get down we get even, please forgive me for my crimes, all i wants forgiveness, just want to try n ease this fucking sickness, relieve the pain , dont want to throw my life away, mental health rushing in, panic attacks over past sins, its like im someone else, used to see everything so brightly, now my eyes darken widely, just trying to survive , its burning deep inside, its like my soul is fading, so focused on the weakness, i feel defeated but only by the bleakness, even in my dreams , why cant i be dreamless , i cant sleep , whys it gotta be so deep, feels like im falling, im crashing so fast, n when i try to talk about it, its like my mouths full of glass, i just wanna forget my past, so many relationships dont last, its like im in a movie, im the main cast, look out the window as my life passed, watching everything go by so fast, overcast by my shadow, its gettin so dark, when i leave this world will i even leave a mark, livin in a life with the numbness , sitting in my home, reminds me im alone, im on my own, getting stoned, lookin through old pictures on my phone, ive atoned for my crimes, depression starts, im honed in , i can see the signs, i can see it comin, happiness is dying, succumbing to the pain, time to reset my brain, grabbing on to any happiness i can atain, but at that time all i feel is pain, it comes down like hail , with the thunder and the storms, just want to live in a life , where my hearts warm, and the pain can be ignored,