tryin not to lose it

must be hard to look in the mirror same for me I guess wish I could just look away but it's not in my DNA I little bit loving, and a whole lot of anger I've put too much into things that don't matter rethinking my position knowing my worth no more selling it short √√√√√√√√√√√ hook √√√√√√√√√√√ Mentally Exhausted Ive been mentally exhausted my heart is getting heavy Ive been blowing hella smoke tryna keep my mind steady Im close to the edge And im trying not to loose it Using drugs for novacaine Cause lately ive been going through it This new generation it Aint nothing like before Nowadays all the respect and loyalty went out the door Everyday I feel my spirit caught inside a war Ive been fighting with these demons tryna even out the score Certain situations either make you or they break you Learn from every loss and if you win remain grateful I keep my circle small cause fake friends will try nd snake you Smile in your face knowing deep inside they hate you Im staring out the window While I'm bumping instrumentals Thinking bout my life tryna figure out my next move So understand this you gotta find the beauty in the mess Whats the point in making dollars if you got no common sense ✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓ hook ✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓ Un-Forgive I can be a nice guy always I try to see the other side opening my ears listening to just about every sob story when it comes to me getting some understanding all I get is "fucks" like "fuck you!", and "fuck off!" not saying I'm perfect but there is two sides to every story yeah, I can be a forgiving guy but I wish I can take some of them back because some of you are stright fucking ass taking my kindness and throwing it in the trash asking for the world but all you give is unrest has me awakening with the question... why did I even fucking try in the first place? I have some good memories but I wish I could leave them in the past when all they give is what used to be was it worth it in the first place? makes me want to down a bottle of Jack or Christmas eggnog spiked with comfort think this New Year's resolutions will be no more forgiveness because I don't owe anyone a damn thing it'll just go unappreciated anyway and I rather sit and play video games listen to music, or hit the punching bag I would wish y'all a marry Christmas and happy New Year but really I don't care y'all can celebrate it in hell for all i care because I gave and gave now I'm not sorry to say I un-forgive