pussy footing

Feeling down to pussy footing around worst with you gone just stalking certain blocks I know you been frequenting lately I cant go find a job move on with life can't succeed nothing motivates me but doing wrong my fault your gone I lost the fight for the evil I think I speak the place I'm always drawn to that leads me to no sleep at night rather sit dwelling on what we could of been to remain this torn beaten lesser me stabbed in the back again  if I do take the time to fill this bitch ass shit out I won't be returning it cause I'm to worried about where you stay who you might be seeing now depressed sad hate myself cause Im ugly mean made you want to walk out on me  motivated only in finding out who you replaced me with where your living why you hate me so fucking bad shit dogg do you here your self that's crazy now making us give into what we know we owe our selves we both craved a true love that real bond for to long I know you can be to me I can and will do that and more than that for you  I can't move past us only empty lost I know this sounds like pity me I'm feeling down can't wont go to the doctor when honestly I really need too I've had none stop pain in my chest head and arms no need to cause the alarm this isn't my point of view it's the truth sorry for mistreating you I'm lost confused I don't know what to do in this fucked up brain I think if I wait maybe I'll finally get some luck and just end up on my death bed but wouldn't I rather chase you stalk you get you back like that's gonna happen and starve then run up to welfare and grab my fucking food stamp card I can't clear my head and think about well needed life goals survival skills I'm sorry I lost control forgot to think on ahead how my words might make you feel how now my stupid ass gots you believing Its real that I intend to kill but this is just me mad hurt talking out my ass bottling up shit until I snap and lose all that makes me whole cause all my feelings I bottle them until I can't take it or treat you right out of line but killing myself in every memory I remember of us no hatred but only love sure irritated at times  part of me misses hopes reminisces on can't let go I'm weak feeble exhausted on my fucking knees not me not strong I wish I could convinse you I wouldn't hurt you but at the same time it seems like you get off on this a joy full of glee the more you antagonize and bad mouth don't want to see when it's a short walk down the street me the gossip column in your life the one no one gets to know about the one your embarrassed of the one you hide it seems u keep playing me stringing me along if it is true that's so sick twisted and fowl then I'd have to admit that if I could prove that to be true it would crush me make me feel worst I know it though you can't see how this torment gots my heart on the ground cause your protected I can't even get close enough to talk the love I lost that I found  I'm weak but hopeful for our future but your through it's over your tired of me my need to betray your trust intimidate and let you down