Always ….Blaming , too many problems Knowledge, is power , Not In control , I totally lost it I shoulda listened , I could of got it Problems .,,,. I was an easy target weakness equals….kindness, Family first , was the Hardest Pill I had to swallowed can’t be blood , As I chocked on water , Sinking ships, My lips , forced to locked them , Tread water careful , Couldn’t grasp that concept I had to sink , to find rock bottom, Climbing back to the top Was way harder Why can’t 2 way streets , be roads less travelled, Turns out my weakness Only made me stronger So now my stories, Flow like open Facets , So much drama Proceed with caution Life’s like one great big soap opera I fought anyone Who choose to cross me, Cost me years And my step daughters Family first Is my new motto For years I held on to Things that didn’t matter a grudge , for things that Had Never happened Used my family to fight my battles To justify things that were problematic I never spoke out loud Hid my feelings In a corked glass bottle , Both so easily broken Actions speak loudest , When Words Have volume Learning harsh truths Reaping what I sowed, Two way streets, Are 4 way stops , With double edged swords, Here I am with no paddles, Got a canoes , Travelling down shit creek I’m going backwards Beaten paths we veer off em And choose the roads less travelled , Why do we bother, outside the box Headless like Sleepy hollow I was sittin in my sisters basement, in this family , my path , my placement, Was not random Like my parents Say , You were the planned one failure , was pre determined , unrelenting standers. Growing up I had some beef with my sisters 10 years prior , when Kazakstan Called I said keep them When it comes to my parents Daddy taught me how to make it He taught me to survive Life’s hard ships Sink or swim both are options You gotta work hard Not be faint hearted The questions asked I didn’t care about hearing answers Knowing now that he was Showing me things like words don’t matter It’s about your actions He could not tell me how much I really mattered He was my shadow , Couldn’t hear him but I could see him He uses actions to shout me he was proud I’m growing Learned the hard way how to let go of double standards I carried around on my conscience On my shoulders , They felt it I’m grateful for all my Father showed me