well let me get serious about this shit I'm torn to pieces still after 2yrs gone by it doesn't get any easier so I lost the love of my life to this hateful disease addiction I look in the mirror it's only a deflection of what I used to be it ain't easy either but each day I get a chance at life I'm gonna keep fighting I got a little girl that counts on me more than I could even imagine and she's already lost momma daddy can't go she needs me and I need her I cry some nights just thinking about what her momma would be saying about our princess she just turned 4 where does the time go feels like yesterday waking up next to both of them giving them a kiss and telling them I love them more than words can explain sometimes I sit there in bed thinking if I would've done things differently or would of been a better boyfriend or fiance this nightmare would of never came true but I can't even start to understand or feel her pain that it lead to the tragic circumstances best believe that she knew I loved her more than anything in the world and I would've moved mountains to be by her side in them last days but I was stuck in jail and that is what rips me up the most not being there for her when she needed me the most I live with unbearable guilt at times because or little one will never know what mommy was and how much she loved her but if looks could define a person giavannah is her momma in and out blessed to have a chance to make things right myself her family with whatever circumstances to never forget but just let go of them feelings Hannah is your listening I miss you so so much bebe and I promise to give my all each and every day for the sake of being the father to Gia that I promised you I would be I'm not perfect but I don't think I know anyone who is so my mistakes are mine and I learned from each of them striving and grinding keeping on keeping on just one day at a time and one day I'll meet up with you again til then me and giavannah will make you proud