] Go ahead and call me a coward Say that I'm not strong because I'm not like you Go ahead and call me crazy 'Cause I live in a maze, tell me how about you? I think I live in my head Sometimes I think that I'm dead, I hide behind my youth Know I been losing my mind And I'm a little behind, step inside my shoes 'Cause I've never been happy with myself And I don't need no one feeling bad for me Tryna to offer me pity and throw jabs at me Wanna give me advice and then laugh at me Behind closed doors, just close the door Let me be by myself—just me and myself I'm tired of living, I cry I hear it's easy to die, I wanna see for myself And I know that sounds crazy to everyone else But I'm depressed as fuck, stressed as fuck Ain't no medicine that could cure what's the test as drugs I mean, I need extra love And that ain't even enough, said that ain't even enough And where the fuck is God? (God, God) Damn, maybe I ain't believing enough But today, we gonna see if he's real And if He is, then I guess I'm prolly going to hell Look, I ain't wanna die like this I ain't picture my life like this They don't know what it's like like this Pretending I'm happy so I can smile like this, and laugh like you Sometimes I wonder if I ever act like you Could I finally fit in and maybe relax like, "Woo!" Or would you feel lost without me? 'Cause honestly, I think the world is better off without me And my mind's spinning, this is the line finish Truth is I don't care how they feel about my feelings I made up my mind, I'm going out like Robin Williams I guess I'm not the Ordinary People of John Legend And I've been suicidal since the day I was nine, shit Okay, the day I was nine I've been tired of being bullied, couldn't stay out the fire Grandma told me I should take it one day at a time And dammit, look at me now, fuck Fuck, pen runnin' out, shit, fu—, ugh Look, just know it's a new day But if you reading this, then it's prolly too late