#slashinc #mensmentalhealth fuckin purged again.. I might be relapsing. bulimia is grasping,it's clutching and clasping. my oesophagus is raw,voice is fucking rasping. id probably be better off just entirely fasting. hold up now im in anna's realm. this place is so dark, I don't wanna dwell. can't let this bitch get me under her spell. shell make me subservient, shell make me unwell.. music blasting in my ears try to block her out. not a whisper no more..shes like a dragon shout. it's only fuckin food,I can go without. I'll make this is my faith now,ill be totally devout. gone are the days when Id hide this mental shit. I'm aware now. I'm reaching out..I gotta handle it. got a family to live for, I hate this acid spit. rebounding food splashing back up feels like shit. you ever need to throw up spicy curry in a hurry? I have after iv ate it all up in a sick messy flurry. the taste fuckin sucks,it makes my eyes red and blurry. next phase for me is feeling dirty and unworthy. I now realise I'm definitely relapsing,there's no more disguising.im over analysing. I see a meal and I feel im paralysing. my mind screams and that demon gets to rising. see anorexia is vexing me. motherfucking bulimias scheming on me. I get confused,like should I consume food or not writing this track genuinely has my stomach in a knot. disordered eating is so hard to explain. metaphorically it's a sprain to the brain. I triumphed before so I'm sure to win again. just had to get this shit out with notepad and a pen.