one last hope

Yo you know you get that feeling when you wanna cry but you turn it into anger flipping out on the ones you love it's no joy makes me depressed even talking about this but I wanna get it off my chest my lifes a mess going into work with a false smile on your face struggling with a basic life man I wanna be different but I got no one to pick me up while I'm down so I guess it's made me stronger nope its made me weak when I was working I saw someone sitting down a bench by her self she told her problems and I listened I said to her look your imprisoned to your self you gotta open up be honest with yourself that's a start I guess but when people don't wanna listen you might aswell lock me up and throw away the key it's like a game of hide and seek but I Dunno what I'm seeking for that's why I'm pushing myself coz I wanna see how deep the rabbit hole goes before i quit on you I gotta lot of shit in my head I wanna get it off my chest but I'm embarrassed I look in a mirror and I say what the fuck is wrong with you I swear the reflection is speaking back to me and it said your not a man your joke and smiles so I loose my temper fist through the glass now I'm bleeding but I'm enjoying the pain fuck I think I just found a new outlet now I'm cutting my self watching the blood drop to floor I start to black out then I had this flash backs when I was happy my daughter by my side my mum and dad holding hands smiling then I wake up hold my wrist to stop the bleeding I'm not done just yet im gunna do the right thing and put the problems back in line and face them and stare them into the eyes and say fuck you I'm not I'm gunna let you control me I only cry when I'm angry