what is touch without pain? what is loving me really like? is it like putting a cigarette out on your heart or shooting heroin? or something else? I wanna know what good love feels like. thats why I spent years filling up rigs, and hittin glass pipes. and letting strange men touch me all night. leaving they money on the counter with they dick in my mouth wanting me to be louder. saying shit like "your so young, so beautiful, and tight" screaming out "fuck you" in my mind, wishing that I could fight. cuz im a daisy dipped in cyanide, the most beautiful things are always dead inside. you know you murdered my heart and you broke my trust. you know I gave my body i paid for your lust. the dope in my lungs, nose, and soul brings me back to when I lost control. 2x I wanna change I wanna fight. I just wanna know what good love feels like. Daddy filled the bowl with crystal shards not knowing back then the things he had in store. "this the best shit in the world baby girl twirl it twirl it 10 and 2 just like this hold your mouth to the peice and inhale real quick." Daddy was a criminal Daddy sold clear Daddy showed me he was the one to fear. Daddy kept secrets and I was one. grooming me everyday was his type of fun. he stank like booze, his blue eyes bugged. ima gouge them out pluck by pluck. you ain't no thug. you ain't the plug.. any motherfucking coward can sell drugs. I don't need no hugs or pity or God. you ain't no G you a fuckin fraud. I'm telling the story of my pedo Dad knowing he was the Father I never had. If this story makes you feel some type way, don't forget I had to live with this shit everyday getting traded for the rent getting yelled at, or beat. he told me that; "anything is better than bein on the streets" When you held me, I felt disgusting, every move my own betrayal. Yes, he hurt like a gunshot wound, but I did this to myself. just another fuckdoll for the pedo shelf. I hope you know what its.like to be empty and cold. and I hope you die all alone with no soul and I hope when you die, and go to hell; that ill be sitting by Satan's side and hearing you yell crying out "please forgive me, God im scared" But ill just smile and say; "God isn't here." for you see, I made a deal with the devil and it turned out fine, I get to torture you and watch you die over and over, 1000 times." the next time you try kissing me Daddy, it will feel like razor wire, on the senses and for anyone who missed this its lacerated deep.... scarring you everytime we touch, and everytime we speak. and everytime to think about me I hope you weep begging for forgiveness at my feet. Daddy touched me, I don’t want it. Stop breathing down my neck. I wanna vomit. My throat fills with dope and cum But the hands they never rest gotta get this pain off my chest. No one touch me, leave me alone. I wanna die, im so lonely and cold. There are thumbprints on my wrist bones and handprints on my thighs; I just wanna know what good love feels like. so Tim if you're hearing this its FUCK YOU. you'll never touch me again.