><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>I Open up my eyes, look inside my mind, Full of truth an lies, feelin crucified, My bodies covered by scars, that i try to hide,like back when I was 5, I’m scared by this pain that I keep inside, the scars on my heart that I coincide Scared by the trauma, as it multiplies /_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/ I wanna live instead tryn to survive, its do or die I’m loosin site, I’m steady swinging loosin might, loosin the fight I’m loosing my mind, loosin ma grind, Why do I get this pain Driving me insane Why do I get this strange feeling, In my veins It Always feel the same Yall don't know my face but Everybody knows my namee. That’s insane e I don't deserve this clout, I don't deserve this Shame I don't deserve this fame I don't deserve this pain I Can't see the sun, I'm drowning in the rain, Life's a fucking game, made to entertain Nobody can win, even those with fame Full of fucking hatred, an they all the same, spitting on my name, listen to the rain ><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>< Even after all these years I still don’t know what to do, how to prove, My heads filled with a bunch of dead bolts and loose screws. I’m not amused, I’m confused, feelen kinda used. These words you’re screaming got me all bruised, its do or die While I’m thinking about suicide And all these pills I popped sitting in my stomach finally kicking in So everyone starts yelling as my blood gets thin, hearing voices saying I’m selfish for wanting to end my pain But no one understands that I’m going insane rite as I slide this blade across my vein. I’m fading laying in the rain. As my blood fills the streets with my name I feel my heart beating out my shame. Everyday it seems to be something else, like im getting beat with a belt, its leaving welps. Maybe I’m just a mistake like everybody says Maybe a bullet to the brain would do me well, I just don’t know where to go , like im stuck in hell. Everyone changing up, she starting to tell i’m a living cell ridin a sinking ship guided straight to hell thru flames an hail, I shall prevail. My life became a lost chapter Of broken dreams My character is broken in separate piece Two fragments sliced in between One soul suffered in make believe They say its ok to fall to your knees They say all you gotta do is believe, They told me make friends to make a wife From 7 years old love was a different site From no sleep to a sleepless night From a nose bleed to a endless fight It’s hard for a child to take care of a parent When all you want is to see what it’s like, to live a life Freedom rights, its overpriced, But a child raised to a challenge is colder than polar ice, Different mind like a poltergeist. Yhats my life

31

Earnest Lucas

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