what's up with me?💔😭

I get a funny feeling It comes from deep inside I get all mad and angry Wanting to go and hide but not with all this demons inside My doctor calls it depression My dad says it's just me But the thoughts and feelings No one will ever be able to see Some say I'm psycho Some say I'm just weird It's like I'm a different person And the old me just disappeared I get really edgy I want to die real bad Then I get a headache Followed by feeling sad I wish I could get help I wish it would go away Maybe if I keep praying real hard It will some day my monster up against me I'm facing them now, i wear the face of a clown though I'm very down i can't sleep yet I've got no insomnia my cornea's active all night like I'm on hunt by some bloody mafias but man this is deadlier than been stung by s cobra this ain't me this ain't normal hey wake you're not dreaming it's the reality fuck it but i can't do it maybe a blade on tge wrist would solve it