i been running thru this life trying to beat the pain. losing ever single thing i ever loved straight down thw drain I'd never want to live my life the same and i cant take another day in this mother fucking game never made it to many of my appointments im to fucked up to even look for employment ive got nothing in my life that ever gives me any kind of enjoyment the pain is so bad everything i gotta do just gets avoided ill go 5 days or a week before that anxiety hits me and i fucking freak fear so bad i cant even speak so i can never get on a winning streak then its back to smoking ice so i dont feel like imma die with every thing thats went down in my.mind i can never go to long without getting high and i hope the last time i seen my babies wasn't our final goodbye their always on my mind nobody knows what i go threw so i try and leave it all behind the day I can lift my head and Kno I've finally made it back is a day i can't stop looking at i been thinking about it so long i feel like a manic everytime i get started on the right path somehow i get sidetracked its like control of my mind has been hijacked i never have no clue how i fail so far off track my mind must be under a constant attack now i see, i have to go back the way i was so i don't just say fuck it ill stay here and unpact constantly fighting those flashbacks from a hell ill never fully understand facts. my mind is in the right place but it seems like im going to lose the race as i lay here in this hospital bed thinking about these last few years i just want it all to be erased ive been living ya, but it's all been a fuckin waste so I pray im giving the time to get out of this hell and live what Time I have left with grace so everyone of my fuck ups and my regrets can be faced im getting everything i lost back not going to settle for just a taste the life i see coming is one i wont stop till i get ya i know some of you sorry mother fuckers dont want to see it but aint nothing stopping me and how you feel about me is not a threat I don't give a fuck who stands in my way imma break thru without a sweat cuz i aint dying with that regret i will be back with my girls this drug life aint beat me yet i may not deserve it now but im going to get my respect so if you come at me you better come correct cuz i won't let that bull shit go unchecked what you dont believe me, ight bet