this is not a new. thing I ve been struggling since I was a teen. when I was fourteen got too many failures I don't know wat I've been loves once hated me and the rest laughing at me I know u pray the best for me but u didn't even believe in me real pain is when the love one turns into enemy so everything I feel I just put it on my scars melody still too many clouds on ma head n i am on ma thirty everytime I tryna elevate they do me dirty on some real shit everyday vission be getting more blurry only disease gettin larger Lord please have some mercy trap in this paranoid between I want to live n i want to die all i need is ur trust so please dont put me on stand by so many failure in life and I hope u get it why if overthinking is a drug I m the most high I don't know wat to choose but i hope I make it before I see them sky thinking bout the thing I went thru I don't even want to open my eye just wanna let u know I m not same just wanna let me go coz i don't know wat I became pressure on my vines I m getting insane nobody understands the pain I don't really got a shit so I dont care if I am lost with all of these pains turning my heart to frost I don't really like no one so m more like a ghost back than so many backstab when I need them the most I was just tryna make u proud but m committing more sin they don't hate on me but they don't wanna see me win still gotta do it even tho when I know it's wrong my head all damge but I gotta keep the feelings strong I don't even know myself may be m possess don't want to try no more I already took so many losses tired of that's shit now I gotta be cautious so m over thinkin now i m not even conscious evry day i make sure m okay but m not still just want to numb these pains m not tryna get killed it's alot to deal may be I gotta do a pill so I'll do everything if it only heal me yeah I will