So much sadness, so much hate. Never knew someone could endure so much pain. Too much on my plate, so in Jesus name I'm prayin. But the answers, they just seem so far delayed and... My shoulders are strong, but I can't take much more weight and... Sick as fuck and my insides feel like I'm dying. Gave up all the dumb shit to live a good life... I been trying!!! Now I'm saying fuck it, I'ma start livin more for me. You say that's greedy? Well excuse the fuck outta me! I got a time bomb in my brain, just waitin to be triggered. Sorry, but I'm not seein any problems that seem to be bigger. At any given moment it's BOOM, and I have a moment to live. If I make it to the doctor, they can fix it for a minute... But 6 months or less and I'm statistically done livin. But don't you dare feel sorry for me, karma is paying me back. I've hurt alot of people. Yea, I've been quite an ass. Feel sorry for my Moms, for all the pain that I caused her. And cuz now there's a chance that she'll outlive her own daughter. Feel sorry for the people I hurt with all the shit I did. If you only knew, you'd be like, "Man, it's about time karma got this bitch." For those who still love me, don't worry, it's not my turn. I ain't goin nowhere yet, I still have a lot to learn.