I mess up everythin even when its somethin I want. I gotta screw it up. Cuz my mouth says why not. It feels like I'm being controlled by some deamon , that is always followin me round. Its always on my case bout everythin I do wrong. I gotta know y I'm wrong with everythin. I wanna be right, and stop all these fights they assume how my feeling like they know what i'm thinking. But they all talk shit how I go off on my sis. I don't mean to I promise I just don't have anyone to yell at. I distract myself by my phone, hide it all in my bones. Then I tend to break and then go back to being fake. Shit. I guess I just did it again but now imma go cry inside and hope I dont relapse cuz every time I see a knife, I make an internal fight! Try not to die because I'm broken inside. Trying to be xalm even when I'm laying down I want time drwon . hope no one tells me who to be cuz I will scream. these are my habits the shit I wish I could change but I'm goin out of my brain