bachpan s hai meine khwaishein maari chad gyi mujhe khushiyan marne k bimari jis umar m dekhna gharwalo ko sath chod dia meri baap ki maa k hath jis pal mein dekhne tha ma ko haste. usi pal mere baap chaldia kisi gair k raste dard ko dekha meine qareeb s besak paise kamaye unhone bhot par dil s gareeb the bhoot julm sahi mere maa n phir bhi jakhm chupa bina kisi s kuch kahe sehti rahe zulm sirf humari khushiyon k lia baap k torcher ma aap ho sehte behan ki umar thi 12 saal waqt tha 2008 kaa us waqt tk dad k sath tha. bimar thi behan suffering from joindice socha baap k h sath sab theek hoga. pr laparwahi kri dad n . hospital local m admit krke tod dia behan n saans na rahi duniya mein bs reh gyi yadein bachpan m bitaiye sathme pal toot gyi maa is hadse s khoon k ansu ghoot ghoot tu marti harpal kyu mukoto pehan hasri kyu tere mayoos chehre ko dekhu m yu kyu itni achi h tu maa. dil m humesha tu rote rote khudko apne khodia meri maa gharme m dekha harwaqt bura waqt sakt the mere ghar m sab na milta tha bahar jane ko rokna wala mere bhai har waqt rehta truth. chup chup k jana pdta tha khelna. quqi agr ghrme pta lga to mar ko pdta tha jhelna mukotha pehana meine hasna sikha raste m chalu jaise m ek cheeta socha khud n mila merko pyaar to kosis kra meine dhundha meine yrr 2012 m hui pehle pyaar ki survaat dekha use dil n manga bs uska sath baat hui nazein mili bday bhi the same day 1st sight love hogya use dekh k mere irado sare nek h sarmila or hota tha bully darpok tha par galat kaam kisi k sath kabhi n kia na kabhi socha us ladki k sath mila mujhe har din rehta m khus jaise har day mera uska sath VDAY par manhoosiyat kuch school k namardo k jinhone krne ki kosis kri mere pyaar k rap karne ki acha hua jo khuda k ishara mila mujhe jo sunai pdi mujhe cheek toilet p paas jake dekha mere pyaar mangri bheek 4aro badmaas ghair k khade the usko wo bhagne k kosis m hogi thi jakhmi whi dimag chala k me ladgya un 4aro s pita bhi bhot pr bacha lia meine apne pyaar ko un darindo s .. andar s tha m khus ki meri heropanti n rap hone s bacha liaa . pr naa thi mujhe khabaar ki agle pal mere pyaar ki khudne wali h qabar har day ki tarah school ki chutti k baad jara tha ghar alvida kia humne us akhiri pal udhar betha dia riskwah m safar m thodi doorie m truck n kuchal dia use bs ek pal m. pyaar ka accident kr leli meri pyaar ki jindagi us pal m khus tha bhot .akhri pal sab toot gya ek pal m phir kho gya us zakhm m ... har pal mauka mile jeene k jindagi ko khul k kuch pal k lia par jakhm k saudagaar bna lia khudko.. bhula k pyaar ki tadap yaad bna k sapno ki udaan ki taraf badaa lekin gharme problem na kabhi hoti khtm puri jindagi struggle or kangali m nikal di .. sakal ka uda rehta h rang . lekin har himmat na todna mereko kyuki bachpan s seekha h khudse batna gum ankhe hoti num pr bina piye rum bhulata jata sare gum kabhi nhi manaya ki n bacha paya usko izzat bachli duniya s n bacha paya lekin socha ab age ki jindagi araam s jeene ko milegi. bt god har part m lyf k test lete h . mujhse unka fav student hu m bdi behan ki shaddi k tym aya socha papa ache s karenge shaddi behan ki pr shadi k din hi farar hogye. hahaha bhot izzat uchali samaj m. didi n gharwalo k khushiya k lia chod dia the apne sapne . na mili use bhi khushi.. gharke halat bigadte rahe. mAa k dil seham gya bhej dia hostel padhne jake kuch naam kr . 2 saal nikale meine hostel m har din lad lad k jeeta .tha jaise y jung maidan hai kuch krne k junoon h sunoon main us ehsaas ko aaspaas mere wo bachpan k yaaar h ,hostel ki jindagi nikal gyi . wapsi delhi m entry mil gyi train m ate waqt mano wapas ake socha kismat badal jaigi par yha wapas ake delhi m bachpan k yaar jinke sath ghuma tha m galiyo main geddiya mare sara bhai sath . katti yaar velli bhai rakhe asla sath. rehta tha full badmashi m . guroor mera rehta jaise hu m JWALA kala rap ki meri JWALA ik din aya aise takrai ek ladki mujhse hua 1 tarfa pyaar mujhe har pal usko yadon m sota tha use pane ki bs siddat thi par wo na thi us layak wo 1.5 saal m jake . mera pyaar thukra gyi. dhoke m mujhko tod gyi phir bhi bina afsos kre age m bada jindagi m dard kum nhi bs apno karmo k kara. bhara jakhma k makbara dardbhara is dil m dard bada ma k tabyet hui khrab na soti na khati thi bs khudse batein wo krti thi ek din sabne unpe dia dhyaan unpe unki mental condition jaise pura abnormal insan violent rehti humesha raste p chalte logo ko deti galiya bina baat phir ma k mental halat dekhte choda delhi humne shift hua gurgaon on 2016 day krwaya mom ko admit phir humne phir halat kabu m jb aai tb jindagi m jaan phirse aya meri kitaab k ek paana jo thi meri mohabbat jo is baar puri thi. 2 saal k safar tha pr phir adhoora rehgya krwa di uske gharwalo n kisi gair k sath uski shaddi hogya m use juda nhi tha manjoor mere naseeb uska sath tha bs ek duaa.. jindagi fir chahti thi hone juda hazaaaron koshishein krti harane harpal mujhe yahan firse s mom was previous state jis bimari ki wajah har din maru mummy ko dekh dekh bs harpal krta hu m rab s dua GOD S do khushiyon k pal unhe jis pal m khus krsku m unhe zakhm zakhmi dil hota gya maa ki tabyet hote gye phir hospital m krana pda admit THEEK hui wo phir lyf hui meri constant thrill viksat krna khudko mera maqshad socha ab rehna mujhko bs ab khus jindagi bandishon m jindagi gujar di ab khulke jeeyunga marne k abhi irada nhi bs khudse mere wada h Fir bura yaaron k saya m aya pal us yaaron k sang bitaye pal meine jeeye chahe barbadi kyu nhi phir bhi binasoche meine wo pal m apni jindagi bina soche apna keemti waqt gawa dia jisne joint dia mere hath m thamaya nashe k jid m har pal har din har wo raat har safar har har wo backdhoiyan adhi jindagi nashe m beeta dia ...meine us nashe m jindagi ko jeena sikha to dia pr us nashe ki lat ki wajah s meine kitna kuch h gawaya dosto ko door dekha jate ankho k age dost ko marte dekha class 10vi m pure saal k lose kra quqi dia tha teacher n meri mom ko kosee ek din pehle drug meine tha lia school jake teacher s badla lia mara teacher ko berhami s meine tu meri maa ko gali di tere andar dedu side m hua meri lyf jaise mout k kuaa bs meri ma k tabyet theek krdo usne abhi tk kuch n paya usko khus hone k pal dedo khuda batein p pathar s takraye phir bhi humehsa dikhta PURI LYF M IS BAAR KRKE DIKHALADUNGA. wapas aya m bs tu hi bs mere naam h kabhi pit soch me tum khwab mein tum har jagah har baat m tum din mein tum raat mein tum hath m tum har halat m tum mere har jit mere hath main tum dur bhi mere sath m tum khwab mein tum har mulaqat mein tum har dua mein tum meri har ayaat mein tum bus bhul s bhi n milte kabhi khairaiyat m tum meri lyf ..kafi scary hai baat baat hadse ake mujhe kyu ghere h na pyaar mile soch pr 2 waqt ki roti maa aap hi bna k dete. har mod p sahara aap hi ho mere har waqt bhole baba s dua h meri meri maa teri khushiyan wa bachpan s ma baap ki kami apne hi puri kri. har ptm m aap hi sath chale har pal zindagi leti test mt kr beta rest bs problem aye soch me tum khwab mein tum har jagah har baat m tum din mein tum raat mein tum hath m tum har halat m tum mere har jit mere hath main tum dur bhi mere sath m tum khwab mein tum har mulaqat mein tum har dua mein tum meri har ayaat mein tum bus bhul s bhi n milte kabhi khairaiyat m tum