as i lay myself to sleep I think of all the ways I try to keep myself alive and make it through the days I wonder if you notice I wonder if you see all the darkness that im hiding deep inside of me I hide behind a smile that could light up every room but deep inside my head is nothing left but all this gloom its getting hard to hold my strength each and every night I wonder if ill every live a day without this fucking fight I keep up the charade so that noone has to know hoping that its good enough that none of it can show the last thing that I need is any pity over me I'm pushing through to make it just so I can fucking see do I have a reason do I have the time do I have the strength to go and make another dime will I make this last or will i let it slide into the abyss that ive taken for a ride I grow in my depression but nobody really knows I keep my head up high just hoping that goes spiraling into darkness is everything I that see but no one really knows what I hold inside of me I'm fighting from the pressure I'm fighting just for air I'm fighting just keep the pain to something i can bare I'm feeling overwhelmed , im feeling over used I'm feeling that my soul is left with nothing but a bruise Sometimes I sit wondering what is it I should do But other times I'm lost and I don't have a clue I'm losing to the darkness, im losing this fight trying to keep strong just make it all seem right but leaving all the mess isn't something I would do It wouldn't be right for me to leave it up to you you dont deserve that pressure you don't deserve that life you dont deserve to see me end my daily strife I'm figthing this battle always thinking over you I'm beaten to the core but nobody has a clue I can not give up i can not give in I can not keep wishing it would all fucking end