sorry I've been gone, I've been under the weather with some health issues. I wrote this last night trying to cope with my thoughts about this stuff. I only had the energy to do one run through. I know the flows off, and timing isn't great but I really wanted to share it as it was an accomplishment today to get it done :) lyrics - One night I was laying in bed and watching tv. Everything was fine, then I could feel my heart beat Two hundred beats a minute and so I tried to breathe But every breath I took, just made me feel weak They say life flashes before your eyes That moment when you feel you might die But all I could think about was how to survive Ive already looked death in the eye, one too many times Bang at the door, put the mask on your face Now tell me what's happening today It's just anxiety caused by the weed Were not taking you in, there's no need And so with the last of my energy I beg and I plead Just hook me up to your god damn machine I'm spinning I'm dizzy in about to go down Two seconds later, I'm out Head in a bucket, filled with the puke from my mouth Before they start to figure shit out Pressure drops, Doctors shocked Running around with their heads all cocked Trying to break through the mental block Then I'm back home and afraid to sleep Writing letters to everyone who ever meant something to me My familys too far away for me to go see. Now I can't work and it's a global pandemic This illness I have seems non academic I call out for help but I'm getting a skeptic And The stress that I'm under is feeling systemic I'm begging drs and nurses to do their jobs Because what I have is against the odds Seems to leave them in wonder and awe So the only answer they have is to leave it to God I'm weak in the knees, sick and diseased I don't have the energy to yell and scream But I was born to fight until I'm deceased So I'm fighting for housing from this bed that I lay Fighting the gov for the pennies they'll pay Finding the right drs through my hospital stays Projecting that I'll be back on my feet someday I'm finding a way to deal with the shame Of the stigma that's now been put on my name Cause when you look at me I'm still looking the same But I promise you that there's a demon at play Anxiety is eating me up inside Scared to do the things that once filled me with pride Because this gift from the devil it burns me alive Now I can barely do what it takes to survive So if you're hearing this show compassion To the people living off the rations Not everyone's trying to cash in Trust me when I say welfare isn't a passion The world's not as black and white as it seems These people aren't living like kings and queens When your sick you have to fight harder to eat You don't know what's happening behind the scenes People hide their problems so they don't stand out Then they're accused of begging for hand outs But they're really deep in a trap that they can't get out of That kinda situation fills a person with self doubt It's easy to judge when you walk in nice shoes If nothing like that's ever happened to you So maybe try and hold on to those reviews Cause when you don't your just adding to the abuse I see people mad at eachother, about where the gov money goes Politicians in fancy flights, houses and clothes Why not say it, I think it's what everyone knows Maybe it's time to take off the glasses of rose Natural selection, a drain on the system None of it matters until you're bed ridden It could be you, or someone you love Coming together is the only way to rise above. Every soul on this earth was once someone's child But we look at people like they are just numbers filed Grouped into boxes that fit all the stats Can someone tell me wheres the humanity in that? When you were a child weren't you taught to love one another? Did the jaded nature of life caused you to turn on your brother? What caused us to have so much hate for eachother? Or is it that you just can't handle how it feels to watch someone suffer I don't know, I guess we'll see how the story unfolds I know the world isn't made of roses and gold Just at some point you would think that this shit would get old And the people that suffer would finally be consoled. Physical and mental go hand in hand The man treats it like there's no demand So what ever your burdens take your stand healthcare is what we need in this land Now that I have some answers, I've been on both sides I'll shout it out to the world, I'll stand for what's right There's people that are struggling to just stay alive If that person is you, know that I'm right by your side lyrics -