They say Misery loves company, But why do I shut down to people, Afraid of searching for a good girl and finding evil maybe im afraid of them dumping me, or not loving me  what if Im miserable because Im alone What if I feel invisible cuz noone hits my phone What if my own misery doesnt love company, if i wasnt alone, would it evaporate suddenly, and hope start to mean  something to me What if  i wasnt meant to be by myself What if I need to be with someone else to make this negativty no longer be felt Desperation overriding patience, what the hell I try to find the solution, but am missing part of the equation The other half constantly evading, and I have no explanation Im never chasing, because all these girls be either taken or faking, constantly taking until i have nothing left to give, and unable to forgive I want love but everyone always hating, and the past I dont want to relive Sometimes I feel close to satan, like i am forsaken, Man fuck dating, fuck these cravings for penetration,fuck the manipulating, Fuck infatuation, thats not love Fuck my heart aching, always breaking when push comes to shove fuck this constant rejection, its degrading, still hoping I can rise above Fuck waiting, its exasperating Im gonna die alone People come and go, they are like a temporary episode, even if you want them to be a whole series The darkness is my abode, The darkness is where I roam, its become my home I search for the light but it doesnt seem to accept me, Why does everyone seem happy except me The darkness calls me when I want to be called, The darkness accepts me when I fall The darkness doesnt reject me cuz my flaws The darkness is there for me when I hit a wall, Fuck em all, ill drown in this alcohol Fuck it all, im embracing my downfall The ethanl helps me forget we live under an evil cabal This is satans dominion, like capitalist minions at a modern mall Noone cares for my opinions, But the darkness will listen, whether it be my suspicions or visions Even when im off track off my missions and ambitions In it I see a reflection of myself, and my decisions The light just always come up missing Like im not good enough to meet its conditions I dont need the darknesses permission, When im rejected by a sea of millions The darkness is always there and willing I feel tired of chasing the light and wishing it answers back, i That it puts me on track, I need to find my own path in this dark world I need to stop focusing on validation from girls Its easier said than done, for sure But the answers are found in my self, not in anybody else And the darkness isolates me, allowing me to dig deep Maybe thats what I need when everyone is so shallow, only looking at the surface level of my pencil thin vessel, my hair disheveled, they say the devils in the details, but these devils dismiss me when they find out im a drop out working retail, they dont even consider I might be special, I wont apologize, I like to rebel Noone knows the shit with which i wrestle I need to dig deep to finally awake, cuz I feel asleep, but I WONT SETTLE maybe im going crazy because i am already awake and surrounded by sheep, all asleep, I wont spend eternity in misery and weep, Ill break this cycle, and creep to the top instead of continuing to spiral Im done being spiteful, this is my revival, and this is just lifes big trial Im done being in denial, i am my own biggest rival, and im killing the parts of myself I dont like, im psycho and homocidal, feeling primal, I pray for my rival. I pray for my revival, I pray for my rival, I Pray for my revival