turmoil I dont understand why you dont want me I dont understand why you hate me I dont understand why you dont care about me I dont understand what I did wrong I dont understand why you use me I dont understand why you throw me away my family's in turmoil it's rearing it's ugly head like a gargoyle I want a father figure that loves me I don't want him to disconfigure me I want him to treat me like his own son. my father never treated me right. I've already been through so much. I dont know how much more I can take, please just take it away. I dont want to do this anymore. I heard everyone has a guardian angel I'm wondering where mine's maybe he lives in the 9s maybe he's there and I don't see the signs I tell people everything is fine but it's not I want to drown my sorrow in wine. or maybe whiskey to make me forget him I just want him to accept me for me I want to rip my body limb from limb.