Mom I got a question, tell me why you hate me. How can a momma hate the oldest of her baby's. Yeah I've been threw hell, the life I live is crazy. Was me wanting your embrace really iritating. Left me for some years, you told me you would be back. The part that makes me mad, is I really believed that. You talk shit about me, he really wants to be black. All because my dream, was simply just to rap. Now I'm on the street hustling like new jack. Never knew you really, but I still wanted you back. I'd cry myself to sleep, somehow I think you knew that. The way you discarded me, really blew my roof back. By the time I really met you, you had another family. Honestly though momma, that ain't what really damaged me. Its how you tried to act, like you did not abandon me. Like everything was my fault, and you had a grand plan for me. I learned your the person who gave me my defiance. Dad gave me my courage, the mix turned me to a lion. You told my grandma I started problems but you lieing. But I know she won't believe me so I just remain quiet. I got a whole lot of siblings, thanks to you they don't love me. Cause you tell em all I'm no good, you tell em I am ugly. You were happy at my birth when I was brand new like a puppy. But I guess you changed when I grew into the tough me. When grandpa passed, that was a cold night. Then you took the sympathy and made it about your life. You still have the gull to tell people your right. Even though we can all see the lies in your eyes. Cant keep a job, you aint finished Collage six times. Left the state to run away, this is like the 5th time. Never lasted long so you had to rewind. No wonder I got problems, you the source defined. Strangers on this road, you never really met me. It turns my insides out, that you love everyone except me. You tell em that you don't, but I think that you regret me. What I gotta do, for my momma to except me. I got shot at last year, if I died would you have showed up. Telling ppl that you wished you watched me grow up. I know it shouldn't get me, but i just want to throw up. Causing me frustration and I just want to blow up. How can you walk around, and act so damn conceded. Act like you so perfect when you left my soul in pieces. It was easy for me to turn bad, this hurt gave me all the reason. All I wanted was a mother and shit and all you kept doing was leaving. The closer I got, the more you got distant. So I spent years of my life abusing prescriptions. Your misunderstanding helped fuel the addiction. Nomader my success somthing will always be missing.