i want so much more than what i already have. more then what i got. more than what i bought. Not without a thought. i keep thinking about my life being brod. So i plot and plot and plot just to realise everything im not. Nobody believes me when i talk about the emotions ive fought. the devotion ive ever brought upon. I want someone to understand who i am, before i am gone. I have warped desires with warped requirements i have warped desires to live life like it never ends but these desires must always come to an end but these desires include everything i cant defend I wanna be good at everything but ik that i cannot. i wanna protect those i love. but ik i cannot. i wanna help all of those in need but i know i cannot. i wanna live life forever but i know i cannot. i want so much more than what i already have. more then what i got. more than what i bought. Not without a thought. i keep thinking about my life being brod. So i plot and plot and plot just to realise everything im not. i wanna be good at this and that. but i soon realise that i cannot. I wear this hat, that makes me feel security when really im just in disguise. just like all of those, who met an early demise. perhaps i will be the next. I always made a joke that suicide was always an option. but ik it is not. I want my life to extend and shorten. Anger pulsing through my veins, laughter pulsing through my remains, negativity pulsing through my brain. So sometimes i wish i could be shot. But i soon realised theres people out there who understand what i am not. But they care more for what i got. So no matter how hard i plot, today will not be the last day that i ever have a thought.