you wanted asong always carrying on saying I put my self down well here is to you my love song this is how it goes down h you know I'm a lot of clown mostly trying to flip over your expression to smile from a frown becousrnuou are so beautiful it's truly undisputibal although I know you'll try to deny it just keep trying there is no dening please just once try not replying to every thing I say like every other day telling me I'm lieing just one time open up your closed mind and hear these words I wrote for you . god I hope you do for I'm pouring my haert out and soon u will see although I've hurt you in every way my heart is broken too how can it not be you gave me your all gave up everything put your trust in the me how could I not see !!! how could I not see..... the first time i seen you in uniform i was in cdorm asking to get the remote so I could turn to TV down with that first encounter I felt inspiration so with a little preparation I wrote you s letter more like a mission statement telling you how I needed some one to be in my life forever by my side for everyone else had always jumped ship on me as though i had died i even admitted to you that I knew I was a lot to handle in fact if you need a good definition of fucked up I was a perfect example still you held my candle took my heart and soul and put on your mantle even when the days went by we were a big thing in a little town . what a scandal so you gave up your career . to wife out my time with me , man what a year kets fast forward here we both remember those phone calls and visits I'm glad it's over with even though at times I ain't going to lie I kind of miss it so now here we sit to lost souls swimming in a fish bowl hiw did we get here I think about it night after night and still it's not clear I've tried and and I've tried still I end up right here shaking my head finding myself wishing I was dead hating the fact that I cant get it into head that I'm hurting you with every action I take selfishly watching you break so much is at stake still I can't seem to not make mistakes often left in confusion at the apparent pain Ivebrung take the breath from my lungs thy will be done help me lord to save what we have show me how to love .. teach me a better way to give to her some better days any way baby this isn't a confession. it's simply depression for when I look into your eyes I see that little girls betrayed because she let me into her world and I destroyed it couldn't avoid it still with you my time we spent I enjoyed it and I want to keep trying one of these days I'll stop lying hiding doing stupid shit dont go yet I'm still trying to be that guy you think you met the one you know I can be so care free and innoscent go give me the strength to convince her it's not over yet ....