I get on with life as a pilot, I'm a short kinda person. I like watching plays and collecting stamps. I like to contemplate the wife. But when I start to daydream, My mind turns straight to the mistress. Oh oh oh! Sometimes I look at myself and I look into my eyes, I notice the way I think about the mistress with a smile, Curved lips I just can't disguise. But I think it's the wife making my life worthwhile. Why is it so hard for me to decide which I love more? The Wife or... The Mistress? I like to use words like 'beerage' and 'disgusting.' I like to use words about the wife. But when I stop my talking, My mind turns straight to the mistress. Oh oh oh! Sometimes I look at myself and I look into my eyes, I notice the way I think about the mistress with a smile, Curved lips I just can't disguise. But I think it's the wife making my life worthwhile. Why is it so hard for me to decide which I love more? The Wife or... The Mistress? I like to hang out with Dave and Matt. But when left alone, My mind turns straight to the mistress. Oh oh oh! Sometimes I look at myself and I look into my eyes, I notice the way I think about the mistress with a smile, Curved lips I just can't disguise. But I think it's the wife making my life worthwhile. Why is it so hard for me to decide which I love more? The Wife or... The Mistress? I hate dirty hippos and burnt on cheese. But I just think back to the mistress, And I'm happy once again. Oh oh oh!