recorded back in August this is deep as it gets have a peep #SYLA I didn't get to write a poem on here for my son on the 31st RKA coz of being in jail so better late then never, 6yrs have past our once whole family now grown so far apart but the pain is still remains deep with in my heart, The empty hollow sadness still feels so fresh ppl say it gets less but I tell u, Still feels and hurts more then ever hoping and praying the feeling one day will get better, I'm still here writing letter after letter tears flowing down face praying that everything will b ok but deep down i know it will never go away, Coz RILEY KAIDE AITON I will b with u again one day wishing I could just see ur chubby bubbly gorgeous face, Hold u tight in my arms but there just hopeless wishes coz deeo down reality so vicious, That cold deep feeling scarred deep in my brain no matter how hard I try those bad memories won't go away forever they'll remain I'd rather feel the pain of a birth then all this hurt forever remains dad's never been the same I'm still lost deep down losing it insane fuck this feeling will never go away coz in 14 days I relive that horrible day forever enslaved to the bad memories stained 10 yrs will soon pass pains stained my heart wish and dream I could just see one smile even just one cuddle brains muddled crazed brain waves cunts assume drugs rubble it's just my fucked up.head state scar my self sometimes so afraid fuck I miss u more and more every single day picturing games played and fishing lines crossed thoughts just thoughts empty hollow sensation lost u took a piece of me with u forever that day ur loss my permanent cost that cold stiff feeling ur lifeless blue skin branded in my brain gun cocked feeling some days my life I should take just to c and b with u again lost connection locked I love u my first born son my number 1 now daddies angel flying high flocked I had to get this out it's been years, I had to get this out crazy thoughts shocked endless tears my thoughts of u so deep deeper than the deepest ocean all these mixed feelings ups and downs anger outbursts just exploding cunts not knowing just assuming, cunts not knowing my buttons pushed fuse eroding distractions are best keep my mind busy as this fucked up date is approaching bye for now RKA till we meet again one day love and miss u more than you'll ever know truth I fucken love u and never forget u my boy so scared I'll end up in a knoose