sometimes I just sit here and think. and think.. and i fuckin think. and ask myself why I even give a damn when im queen of the damned. been damned if I did or didn't from the start. and the moment I started life.. is the moment I started to fall apart. they say I got some heart and I been trying the most just to keep it together and play it smart. Like I'm a soldier or somethin.. all tough and unphased. but beneath that mask im really just confused, hurt, and dazed. it's still trying to take me down and for the fact that it hasnt yet I'm amazed. the ones with faith mustve really praised. while they help me continue the war with myself as its overly crazed. my chin for them remains raised. but what about me.? what if I dont wanna continue this battle of self misery? im my own diary. as I open my own ear and take a minute to hear. I know I'm coming in clear. but I still hesitate my foundation of fear . while trying to fight back a single last tear. and stare at a face of a million different problems in the mirror.