Idk where I want to go with this, ignorance is bliss, unless you get the shit end of that stick, trying to shuffle the cards that I was dealt with and figure how to live up to that shit, time gets hard when you are married with kids, gets even harder when you are separated with kids, the nightmare that I'm living in, cuz soon it will be half here, half there, nothing I would ever thought I would ever have to experience, but thats just the now, past was ridiculous, especially trying to reminsce, only to get that dede face on Friday after next, when he felt you was talking non sense, so many years gone, no regrets, especially my kids, they my everything, no hate, she was the best thing to ever happen to me, family is everything to me, and there will always be a place in my heart for you, no fee, now it's just my kids and me, shift gears and back on track, find my groove and Nascar this shit, Jeff Gordon, run circles around y'all, usualt bolt, shit was shocking but i needed that jolt, now time to get bold, find my way back home cuz it was go hard or go home, but if you dont know where home is, it gets hard, might hurt but you get hard, but getting to use to loniness, you start to accept it, live it, and gets harder everyday to resurrect it, cuz you literally lose all fucks given, truly a impossible mission, it almost turns into a addiction, habit hard breakin, so you got to get your priorities straight and focus on them, just gets difficult, especially when you know the love is still there, hidden, shits a trip, confused love is a bitch, cuz it can go either way, but time is everything, cuz when you figure it out, it might be too late, was it the right decision or a mistake, did you choose the right one or is karma slapping you back in the face, they say if it was meant to be, then it's meant to be, I always felt it was gods plan for us to be, or maybe I wasn't listening, cuz your mind, body, and soul, so Beautiful from head to toe, your sound, your words, the comfort you gave me, but this emptiness is over coming me, I'm not myself, I'm losing me, til eventually, I'm gone, turnt nothing, still living, just now a lonely zombie, sitting here wondering and pondering, when will I find my peace, if that ever happens, cuz it's crazy our future is still not set in stone but I definitely lost, being alone seems to be in my sights , Only time will tell, it's in God's hands now, until then, love you best friend