in between hvn and 1134

Cancer sticks and children flicks. What has my life become? Im feeling sick am i being tricked? I just wanna mean something to someone. Fuck this shit im sick of it Living through each sun. I wanna quit and just get lit. Heres the white flag...im done. Come this far to throw it out the window of this car to see where it goes. Cant you see its hard I just want someone to know and see these scars from when i was low. Why bring my self that low again? Why stoop to those levels? The addict within me is starting to show again and forget about everthing sentimental. I can choose to grow again or lose my religion in the back of this rental... I think before i become hollow again ill deem this all coincidental. Ive come to learn that my words to my self mean nothing. Inside they burn so i right them out and in turn it freaks me out and concerns me so i change my mind before it hurts me.2w1w1a12