pain was the one to blame when the bull shit came as with the rain drip drip driving on my face. missing them bad but they in a better place bull shit bull shit asking God why, while I'm listening at the pull pit. cousins mad at me like being in the middle is the.. place to be_ meanwhile I'm being judged on what they cant see_ had very little friends for rocking the latest pants and wearing all the new trends. females mad at me because my hair down my back _didnt trust nobody so that was that._ didnt know what i was going through step daddy on crack- and mamas not knowing what to do_ so I has my back- against the wall In the closet, _suicide falling from thoughts into my stomach._ crying on the daily steadied blaming my meds instead getting help for the baby. fck chemical.embalance this life made me crazy, it was PAIn pain pain what do we have to gain but maybe everything us better this way.