How can I grow up to be such a strong women when I was taught and brought up by such a weak one Hiding in fear of shoults at night the smashing I hear down stairs.  I know that your not sober any more As I grew up I had to hide my fear for the little one as I held her instead and hushed her fears instead of my own It was not fair on any one.  I wish as I grew older for the pain to just go away that's when I turned to the blade I told you over and over again this can't go on . You didn't listen you never did you was blinded by love Now I am 19 and I am still afaird of bangs i hear and people's tone of voices.  I still putting people before myself because I was brought up this way and this is the way I had to get thought my childhood keeping people happy and keeping the little one safe . Now I'm still messed up . Now I'm still scared and marked. I don't know how to change I don't know how to stop . #damage #pain #family #death #friends #hate #home #love #life #left #past #happy #sister #young #insane #potential #grow #grownup #abuse #walls #home #house #fairytale #daddy #daddydrunk #father #mother #mum #tears #loveyou #younglady #violence #small #soyoung #memorys #me #attached #terrified #future