some time there pain but i know i can't resist now wishing that wishing that i didn't exist but all that i wanna do is suicide and thats not your decision i decide thats not what i want what want to for better stuff in this world and thats not how reality is as i just go though brutality not feeling good now i could be misunderstood its just am sad and bad at the same time with all this madness as i lay dead on the mattress thats not what i want