I'm trying. Trying to be the perfect daughter. That golden child. Yet, it's so hard. All these emotions and obstacles thrown at me. All this anger. Why do I have so much anger? Is it cause my Cousin's died? Why did he have to die... so young.  He was my favorite person. The light in my life. Even till the very end. Why did he have to go? Or is it cause of all shame and negativity I get? Why? Why do I get so much? Yo, I fucking hate it. Why am I the one with all this Anger and everyone else just goes through life without a fucking problem in the world. People always assume I'm happy. I put on a face when all I see is red cause I don't understand Why can't people see I need someone to help me with this pain, this anger. Make me feel something other than negativity. Have someone understand me and be on my side every now and then. Cause I don't know how much longer I can handle this anger before I break. And, I don't want to be around when it does. If someone could see. See all the pain, anger or see I'm not happy and not judge, I would be so happy. Cause there's someone there. Someone to lean on. I hope one day I find that person. Maybe they can help me see why I'm so angry. Or help me see why I'm so alone in a world full of 382, 504, 316 people in the USA alone.