II did it again. Fucked around and lost everything. Literally speaking my life is based on me geeking. Everyday is the weekend. I'm in hell I'm over heating. Can't take a beating... Like I once did. I'm no longer that kid. I'm growing up yet sinking. No longer wanna be lit. Every thing to do I out did. For what? Who knows... I won't know when I've had enough of "that stuff" Don't wanna be in love because the ones I love don't love me back it gets rough dealing with that Don't know where my feelings are at I'm up I'm down don't know where the ceiling is at And I'm done with dealing with that. Please someone reel me in fast. However. Every day I have a thought that I'll get better. Even tho t wasnt the drugs that made me this way. Substances allowed me to escape the pain. The pain that I inflicted upon myself plus the pain caused by everything else makes me keep numbing cause I got burns from hell. Can't help myself. I got in too deep again I can't swim hear me yell? The dRkness is starting to creep it's my friend of the end. Quit pointing fingers I'm misdirecting my self with no direction I got lost in the midst of avoiding this depression...but I must mention, I think I need another session of theropudic drug inducing much diluded correction. Write me a prescription for whatever Illness in which I fit the description... Let the pharmacy fill this void with more drugs while each dose I just miss them. You never listen I've reached maximum dosage I feel worse than before laying on a floor comatose and nevermore I know where this goes. Sore. From my head to my toes. So I keep suppressing as my anger grows Can't find my flow. I am stuck like Chuck what the fuck I can't say no Cause when I do I find my luck and I pass go Then I choose to go up Til I feel low. Then I lose and give up.