First the job then the home man Then the car and the girlfriend plus the sofa it was all taken away Then my momma got sick and everyday Felt like it was all thunder and rain i had to soak in so much pain open up the door please let me in my wounds are sore Was that a little hope i saw I dont think so just an illusion To make me fall i feel constant confusion about living at all should i press the trigger make the call Nah then my enemies pockets would get bigger i aint ever falling to my knees i quickly get up while they say its impossible i step up And it buggles me these demons are following me some shit im bout to stir up My past is one big blurre but then these flashes wanting to be seen i hear ehm Haunting memories streaming into my ear and i think im starting to fear ehm These glimps are coming nearer Im distant looking myself in the mirror Tryna fight myself my life is one big thriller Aint nobody in my field thats iller nobody thats realer im tryna conceal my real identity as my life agenda has its crisis peek i wanted to send ya a little sneak peak of a letter but now you broke up i think ill better shredder it fore i blow up Im angrier then the white blond you say that i should grow up 16 year old barbie slut you where narly from the beggining it had to stop you thought you outsmarted me but now my pain erupt ever since the day we departed theres probably been another he It startet out so lovely With home job car and money But clearly you didnt love me I feel a tear on my chin and now im sobbing im gasping for air and it aint stopping there im desperately tryna get aware of an escape for me it could be anywhere but it aint safe for me Out there im broken mentaly My brain freeze like a loading screen Nobody cares i suppose this means Somewhere in my genes theres something making me feel horrorbly Such obscene history in the making Making me wanting to Break my neck and bleed god im begging you please these women are tearing me apart with ease my heart it shreeks hear my voice as i lead As my own leader i rejoice as i turn up my speaker music gives me the energy to defeat the sorrow over a cheater Im hollow inside but im eager To follow my icons and get bigger And as i lay here rhyme and i figuere Out how to trigger the media to be heard In my brain im forming a picture and shit is absurd i swerved into a curve and was served as dessert this might reflect to Some real shit i iknow i should protect my Self but im speeding from some trauma Im alone there is no help ive grown to understand that to win you gotta sell Yoreself learned that on the closed section sitting ina cell now im free but on the bottom deflecting over the things that meant the most and its sickening how ive grown to hate it all parrying as memories come in starring into the abyss im barely Standing tryna keep myself up rarely saying bitch im marrily happy to care fully Im sad bullied pissed on and never out without my headset and hoodie No apologies from god i think he should be dead So there is no doubt that i could be The only seeing this cloud over my head and it is striking lightning every single minute Im crying dying inside laying in the bed I aint denying anything ive ever said I wanna be flying jump off of the roof take off the bulletproof and meet the end Intake every bullet being send from the ak mac elleven being sprayed ina big bullet wave i wanna be erased and then the revovler has its entres 1 out of 6 bye bay i press a single time every day but i stay alive from the power of my rhymes And as im searching through the times Im hurting my mind a burden to im bound ill sound so perfect when i get to shine