yo i gotta chill and relax popping pills in my glass. hours pass like memories ours pass it became a happening to quick for me ta grasp it and im futuristic but lose my path when the past is present then it zips so fast in front of it it gets me beside me self. wondering asking why the hell the pride of self let me deny myself the love of someone else i used ta pride myself in my cheating ways but these recent days even jesus seems amazed the scene it changed just me ta face the defeat the waste d time chasing wishes my mind a fifth dimension or like inside of its living a twisted magician producing illusions of a mythic created fiction i had ta be delusional ta be so horribly caught up in it ta not of witnessed ta be so mistaken as if the situation wouldnt leave me missing her tears dripping uh feeling like if i ceased living the transition would give ta me like a gift to be more peacefully eased into the misery as if it wouldnt be hard as a ghost post mordem holding my phone and a picture of home. where she lays her head. next ta what was me laying in bed. seeing her alone or with a stranger instead im not trying ta get angry or crazy but its been lately im sliding mainly backwards carrying yhe weight of loss so bad my fucking back hurts. cant believe i lost her i fucking had her true love given up and shattered like it never fucking mattered. im not throwing shade fer that fact or pointing blame at her. our love could breathe fire and we sleighed dragons. both ta blame blow out tha flame. out goes tha pain little line sniffed bigger pile split directions slowly but left its mark so deep reflected edges like a mieror broken pieces still i hear ha voice in my dreams my eyes are moist but its life tha choices made make each mistake seem less great when compared ta her leaving aye