lil dolla- my brain

Im ok on the outside if someone is looking in, i used to have a passion to rap about things in my head with a pen, but any time i try to spit freestyle or acapella i freeze up or get stuck, its like losing my mojo or i dont have enough, its rough to say my mind is jaded, i do rap better when im faded, or it must be this new rap mixing in my head and i cant take it, i feel wasted as existence, a body without a head, like a book thats never read, thoughts cloudy in my head, i need peace, but this job wont let me sleep, or maybe its the addies, its a catastrophe, both are the same to me, i cant take or shake it i feel like i have to follow, or become a drone, im all alone is one hard thought to swallow, i need some peace i find realease when i can vent like this, its like it all comes back to me when i let it out again.