looking back at my lifes history i face facts i wanted it to be played back in different speeds both us insisting to keep a love alive yet it died we were a mystery why the fuck we even tried to fight it continuing love or pride inside us memories only keep me. living with a deep misery insde hindering me taunting me plus yeah haunting me i cant sleep dont help me thinking that if i tried to be a bet ter person these for bet ter or worse then moments if it did occur then its never been in turn with what i want it to be maybe i dont deserve it seems the case to be cuz life aint been working lately beasts invisible becoming seen. i watch them move in shadows as they creep slow guiding me to and fro into my insanity as i go tell me why always i seem left with empty and broken dreams i guess then if always lonely hope this life gets better be fore we let it go totally overboard in sadness drowning before we get to shore. get who we used to be losing sweet Faith to this nightmare my sheets soaked in sweat and these waking. screams my head is aching. these dark times are taking me ive realized my hopes and dreams are less likely to be reason i need sleep but your voice is calling me death i wait for it to take me but never does i hate everything what it was home what it was is gone before and after ive known nothing like it so whatever happens if it never happens and im back to living life stuck like magnets with a self destructive appetite and everything fucking up and crashes and i feel like fuck this life and what all ive predicted since the age of five then again at six then i welcome after life with open arms and hope in my eyes for a moment since then finally i can close em and rest peacefully. stress leaving me less defeated with each step reaching me towards a physical release of me in which my soul seems to be absorbing into me deep resentment and need for a better source of deire to run this course or expire lay down and die while a thrower of fire holds the line for us thru hells doors no more to settle for or pick up the sword and swing it harder then before the black pot calling the kettle fuck it whatever you know the metaphore ill be better for either or at least one achievment reached all the failure keeps telling me wed do well to keep the distance so the streets i sit in walking deeper in this lost ambitioun cost me all mission into the poverty deeper ive votten even a job and second job not enough and all tbe love in my family couldnt bring me back from this deep down sadness that keeps me having dreams that clash with any reality or chance of having it so i zeek a end to the maddness left with whatever ending tragic or acceptable. no longer holding on but letting go. over all id say im better for you walking away . but ive gotten lost in the pain drifting off into a vague display of emotionless spitting the passion in my poetry missing. i dont even notice whats happening all i know is i havent been recording with the compassion i used to have and i figured out that you were that secret recipe that made me give my all and if this is really over im letting go i wish you could feel me falling you catch me i swear cuz the pain im feeling you wouldnt let me feel it. you were in love with me and i still am.