onjtoo much tension built up from the bullshit caused after many aimed continuesly, this hate and now it's triggering my anger to New heights my days have changed, my setways ....I don't feel or see things as I once did it's killing me n I can't believe Ive entertained n now I participate in shit n even caused troubles for a few yet I still can't shake that i tend to feel bad but remind myself it's them or else... after knowing y'all's accusations of me led to this reputation is what I stand as even after I begged to have y'all trust my word and that's with the actions behind um over the years... still no one has n that's a fear I never imagined... now im forced to come to terms with the person y'all blatenly made me out to be.... it's hard n I try to empty my mind put a strain on my soul to feel kinda cold... this sour taste stays after I've devoured these gut feelings theres no reason as to why I see as I have or even to feel as I've felt while only getting to walk n go through random phases in hell ...ive self compelled...but my wars n overall life story is being written on my sleeve and the degrees I've reached I can't even believe I've managed to still coherently function but barely n now Ive struggled with hopes for anything n I've rarely even have had a thought so it seems.