I'm at war with my mind, thoughts racing all the time Trying to hold it all in, but it's like a landmine and im stepping on explosions its so hard all the things on my mind a constant battle and no one is winning ..and this is only the beginning lets not talk about my past and all the lies and sinning. my day to day life its like im living on earth but stuck in hell ...holding everything in so no one can tell. i cant share with others what i cant even deal with myself ..i know this cant be good for my health its just what do you do when this is the cards that you have been dealt. so many questions As i sit here and ask god why.. Did you have to take my best friend my true homie why did he have to be the one to die? now im left here feeling so alone..my own house doesnt even feel like a home...memories of him all around some days are harder then others and i cry when no ones around. and its tuff feeling like this when im an adult im grown. this place just doesnt make any sense.. it seems so extreme. every positive has a negative and you cant change it up matter turned to energy gone mad and now everything is corrupt. This world is getting so dark and gloomy feeling like im on my own without my best friend my brother my homie. i wonder if he sees me or if hes really up there is heaven a real place or do we just disinigrate and forever dissapear i wonder if reincarnation is real im not sure why i even care Exploding, emotions overload, I can't control The weight of the world on my shoulders taking its toll..i try to walk it off flip out thoughts in my head make me want to punch somthing instead ...fighting to stay awake instead of sleeping in my bed. Every day feels like a battle, fighting my own demons Struggling to find balance, caught in between extremes Insecurities creeping in, doubt starting to win But I refuse to give up, I'll fight until the end Pressure building up, can't escape the noise Voices in my head telling me I have no choice But I'll push through the pain, rise above the strain I won't let my mind be a prisoner, I'll break these chains I may be at war with myself, but I won't surrender I'll keep pushing forward, getting stronger, getting better I'll find peace within, learn to quiet the din I'll conquer my mind, and let the healing begin.