As it is, I'm a single mid aged woman. I've had my highs and lows drinking too much and had to do some time in the can Every lesson I learned in life was the hard way Either you learned a lesson in life.Or you're living that insanity and trife I'm just a high class white Italian girl from New York. Living in south carolina used to be a nurse Then 1 day, they came to me and say, no more work. I served my time in the air force been through all kinds of hardships, that's for sure I was forced to retire at 46 Because they say, I'm crazy. But my childhood became hazy After the airplane crash in the gun shooting in ninety four desert storm era, fairchild air force base I became a heavy drunk Twenty two veterans die a day .But I self medicated with drugs, it to drown out the funk My memory got worse as time lapsed people try to take advantage of that Well, I learned that you only got one life to live So every day I just kept drinking a fifth F*** what people thought? Life became a mess. Well, never gave up a fight.I always fought Living life, my way f*** what everyone thought I became different and so did everything too They'd say, I'm on medication for your protection . Ha ha, make it a joke. F*** them . I'll just do a big line of coke .My anger from these judgmental folks Point your finger one more time at me. I'm a tickin time bomb, ready to blow. After 86 jobs one more joke about me and watch. Me blow up. And see how I joke. It's f****** sad and crazy.I had to ask my mom' And all our friends to tell me stories about my childhood days. Most of my memories got erased after the shooting in ninety four in the same week.The airplane crashing picking up dead bodies and more I never had a long relationship after all this s*** I always blow up on the ones.I love and later regret it Most times I don't remember if I hurt you. I'm sorry, or if I can't stop myself while i'm ahead.I'll try and justify it with glory I'm just a crazy veteran With survivors guilt I didn't think I deserved anything man I don't think the cop who Shot down The perpetrator deserve to write a book cashed in on people's tragic event. I am not a fan. Unheeded warnings. I still can't read it for my therapy I'm not sure 1 day if I'll ever forgive. But there it be e Life came to me on life terms. But it was a end to alĺ those sermons.