**(Opening)** Ladies and gentlemen, how’s everyone doing tonight? Alright, let’s talk about trying to get things right. I mean, I’m like a walking "How to Fail at Life" manual. **(Verse 1)** So I tried to keep my mind alive, but it's like trying to keep a goldfish from forgetting it's a goldfish. You ever have that moment where you’re like, “I’m gonna be productive today!” and then you find yourself binge-watching cat videos at 3 a.m.? Classic me. **(Chorus)** I mean, if my brain had a purpose, it’d be on a milk carton by now. I’m out here trying to figure out life, but my GPS keeps rerouting me to the nearest pizza joint. Why’s it so hard to make sense of things? Can someone give me a map or at least a decent Wi-Fi signal? **(Verse 2)** But I’m timeless, like a broken watch, and when I try to be deep, it’s like trying to explain quantum physics to a toddler. You know, "Hey kid, how about we talk about Schrödinger's cat?" And they’re just like, "Can we get ice cream instead?" **(Chorus)** And here I am, just a nice guy with a devilish twist. Like, my life’s a sitcom and I’m stuck in the pilot episode where nothing makes sense. I’m never in the system; I’m just here for the laughs, and a sip of whatever’s in the fridge—oh, it’s just milk. Great. **(Bridge)** So, plotting revenge? Please. I can’t even plot out my grocery list without losing it halfway through. And when it comes to fighting the system, my plan is usually to avoid eye contact and pretend I'm busy. Pro tip: works every time. **(Chorus)** Rules, laws, light systems—sounds like the stuff of sci-fi movies I pretend to understand. I’m out here tapping away, trying to roll with it, but I’m really just rolling with my bad decisions. And you’re all invited! **(Outro)** So, what would you give to find a mind that’s actually functioning? I wish I could tell you. Last time I checked, mine was still stuck in the "Did I leave the oven on?" mode. Thank you, thank you—if you need me, I’ll be over here figuring out how to adult. **(Closing)** Thank you, thank you! You’ve been a great crowd. Remember, if you’re ever feeling lost, just know you’re not alone—I’m here, navigating life like a GPS with a bad signal. Goodnight!