Dear marylin, I know when you leave it's gonna tear me down To be honest i'm really not ready for you to leave my life after seeing you And having a good relationship with you for years I understand you gotta leave, but it really freaking hurts. I don't wanna let go of you. I don't wanna leave you. You helped me get through so much. You cared for me when I felt like nobody else did, but I really don't want you to leave I don't want to hold your hostage but at the same time like why can't you just stay? It's OK to leave yet, It's gonna break me for a while. Don't know how long It will be, but probably for a good while, maybe. For a few years and it comes, it goes. Trying to find a new therapist was really, really hard, but I'm doing it. And now I have to start a new whole relationship with someone and I'm scared to do it. Because what if 1 day they decide that they're gonna leave. Then what am I going to do, i know? I'm probably gonna be broken again. And it's gonna hurt really bad. Just like it hurt when I found out you were leaving. I'll try to keep pushing for you. But honestly, I don't know how much longer I can go on with so many people leaving my life coming and going. But you know that's just life.It sucks and it's hard to Admit it but it's true Eventually and hopefully, I get over it.But honestly I think it's gonna come and go throughout my life.You had such a big impact on me And I don't know if someone else is gonna have an impact on me or not. Maybe if they stay long enough, they will, but to be honest, I'm having trouble trusting people now because so many people said they would stay, and then they just leave my life. And I understand some of it's not controllable some of the days. But that's some of it. is, and it's very, very heartbreaking. I said it once before, but I'll say it again. Leaving you is probably the hardest thing that I've had to do. Leaving all these people in my life who have recently left is one of the hardest things I've had to do. I'll probably sob for a while while you're gone because it hurts so fucking bad But I'll be okay. I guess I'll eventually get through it. Hopefully, even though it's gonna be very, very painful for me. but anyway with all of that being said I just wish you the best And hope you live life to the fullest. And please don't forget about me. You'll always be on my mind and I'll always remember you. Thank you for listening.😭😭😭