Honestly, I have tried for five decades now to become successful and find purpose in my life. UNFORTUNATELY, i was born azoospermia and went to federal prison because of a federal informant, subsequently, I got a full basketball scholarship to a university and graduated from college, I thought my past would not come up against me, apparently, it did. They did a background check, and I was rejected from playing professional basketball overseas because of my past life. No one wanted me on their team, they all said I was a liability, plus I could not get a passport. My life expectancy is not to stay broken but to find a way to become the first millionaire in my family, successful, healthy, and my purpose. Taken all this disappointing caused me not to fuck with people, but the way life is made I have to deal with people. Using my education, and plans and they rejected them, I had to find a job. For six years, I searched assiduously within myself for true zeal about my purpose in this world; however, I even became homeless for seven months again. Subsequently; when I moved back to North Carolina in 2011 from Nashville, Tennessee with a Master's in business and experience from the endeavor from the first colleges. I was vaguely pleased to be able to try and open my own business in my hometown of Asheboro, NC. I wrote out a few business plans and received a consultation with the Chamber of Commerce in High Point NC, Small Business Administration SBA in Greensboro N.C., and they turned down my inventive business proposal, and they turned me down each time. Subsequently, after five years of being assiduous for a multi-millionaire, I operated solid for five years in a dead-in job pondering about my life purpose at a job. Instead, I quit the job because of the manager's shenanigans of pay. I investigated to attain a much more abrupt business lifestyle. I was happy and frustrated at the same time; I dislike people who act like they have my best interest but do not. My coworker and I sued the company and we won a big check. To get the check cash, I had to use a bank and the IRS took all my money, house, and car. Apparently, my life of being successful was rejecting me as a person. NOW at age 51, I have three felonies, an MBA, momentarily homeless and broke, now with congestive heart failure, a defibrillator, a walking cane, and five pills daily. I am not a healthy man. To be honest, three cardiologists, heart specialists, and no one can tell me why my heart pump stopped working. It has been one year and I barely can breathe. Becoming successful has turned me salty. This is my life story and Do not feel sorry for me cause I have done all I can do to make me successful and nothing is working. Risking my life to win the lottery and just to almost win. They say that loving someone without them loving you back is like trying to light a candle with an unlit match. And I do not know why as a man i insist on worshiping someone who does not love me. Persist and resist, thinking distorted thoughts like, “If I leave her again, she might…” or “If I stop giving love this, it’s possible that…” as if this would achieve anything. However, love is not a vending machine. You can not put in a coin, press a button, and get the thing you want. Sometimes, there is no other remedy than to take the plunge, forget all your false hopes, and stop killing yourself over someone who is going in a different direction with your family and without me. “I learned that I cannot demand love from anyone, Apparently; I can only give good reasons for them to like/love me, and be patient for life to do the rest.”In impossible love, the first thing you lose is hope. Some relationships come with an expiration date, and if you are fully aware that nothing you want will ever come to be, you should leave through the door where you just walked in. And do it with dignity, with your head held high, and with your heart in one piece. Loving someone who does not love you back is extremely painful, but it is even more painful to stop loving yourself for someone who does not even deserve you. Be strong and wise, and always remember that you should only love that which is worthy of being loved. You have shown me over and over again that I do not deserve your love. Why keep tormenting me for receiving love? This is what I ask God, my family, and whoever to love me back and as of today, no one loves me back and my being positive or negative gets me the same results, now an unhealthy man, with nothing.