@rapfame_official @rapfame_ar_team y’all gon listen eventually. The struggle with sobriety is one that has taken me on a dark path. If you can’t find the light, become the light. #sadrap #emorap #sobriety #realtalk #pain #grief #loss #anger #heartbreak #betrayal #WeAreTheChildren #WATC #ArksSerenity Yeah Past few days I just been drowning in this fucking bottle Can’t deal with shit around me so my using is full throttle My nephew looks at me like I’m the world’s greatest role model Just ain’t know how to tell him my world is full of all this sorrow Mistakes have been made, lately feels like I’m the bad guy I got some scary ass news and I straight went to get mad high You see I’m that guy, used to wanna be mad sly Used to lie about sobriety, and then go mad cry Be disappointed in myself, nobody sees the shame No one sees the embarrassment and all this fucking pain Sitting alone with my bottle and no one here to blame And my abandonment issues have just been going insane I just can’t take it - sometimes I get so crazy in this brain of mine The relief when I take that first pull has become divine I be praying up to God then I ignore His signs Everyone sick or dying, feels like we running out of time Swear that I’m fine, but when I’m ‘lone the tears dont stop I’m mixing everything together, all the pills and booze and pot Shouldn’t be using on these meds, but I ain’t scared to drop I think about all the times I thought I had this life on lock Heart full of rocks, I mean the heavy weighs me down I hate to be submerged in pain, so scared that imma drown But I been screaming for help and my mouth won’t make a sound Been so tired of waiting around thinking imma be found I’ll come around, just tryna gather all my strength up Time heals all wounds, but wont say what the length was Every time I get the urge to drink, remember what the drink does Mama’s fucking dying, used to have health like a tank does My rank up, but my spirit just feels so fucking low I just cant do anything without first smoking some dro Stopped wearing my chain, but I still think of all the pain tho Been getting angry at this life, swallow souls like a mako Mistakes will stay a lesson but how many can I really make? My best friend left my side, there was no more that I could take I feel like it was dumb as fuck, the way that we would break I mean goddamn, throw me to the bottom of a lake What a debate, that dude was like my little brother Legit part of the fam, he would call my mother his mother He used to tell me we’d always be there for one another But that was with conditions, and I kept my art always covered Couldnt imagine a time where he would dub me again I miss chillen with him, swear I’m type sad it’s the end Sometimes I wonder if there’s anything left for us to mend We were both kinda dicks, I wish that we were still friends I didn’t know what to say at the time, there was some shame, And behind the anger there was actually some new pain I knew this time there was nothing for our friendship to gain Man life without my lil bro is so boring and plain I’m so damn drained, but I wont go back to the past Whether friendship or with love, Jim Neutron I gotta blast, I ain’t hit a meeting in years, knew sobriety aint last So I just sit here in my misery clutching the flask Put on my mask when it’s time for me to interact Been grieving so long I never come out of black Self awareness, but it’s self control that I lack I’m sorry to myself, I just want sobriety back