Well today I got to say ,given my physical state ,I guess I'm ok ,,,my mental I pace so it don't run away ,I'm feeling the fade of my past mistakes ,,,but the pain will never go away ,living the same,, like I ant phased ,,,all them years spent locked away ,matching myself ,,I challenge my health note to self it's not going too well,, feeling I feld but I gave it hell ,,,had a good run now I'm all by myself,,, these feelings I have felt I hope you never feel,, I didn't fit the bill just too stubborn to except what is ,but now I'm older ,,colder ,,hard in the chin,, and strong in the shoulder ,,,lined out my happiness with too many cold one's ,,,let go of hope and picked up smoking , let go of everything that once had a hold ,but too see the real it never left ,,nor did the way I feel it's in my chest,,, it hurts every breath I no that I am broken,, too intune with my own emotions,,, I drowning even tho I'm floating ,,,I fight every night,,, untile you see with your own eyes ,,,don't judge me or my life ,there is reasoning for the way I am,,, I never planned the life at hand ,,,I would rather stay awake then to sleep in hell ,,,,fighting the pains and terrible smells,,,, call it bullshit you will see for yourself ,,,I go there every night when I sleep,,, not sometimes every wink ,,,,I'm tormented by unspeakable things ,,,so before you judge me for what I do ,,,u will never understand I don't expect you too,,,